Site last Updated - May 13, 2006

5. I'LL NEVER TELL
{download mp3 here}

ANYA:
This is the man that I plan to entangle - isn't he fine
My claim to fame was to maim
And to mangle - vengeance was mine
But I'm out of the biz
The name I made I'll trade for his
The only trouble is...
I'll never tell

XANDER:
She is the one, she's such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace
Warm in the night when I'm right
In there tight - embrace, tight embrace
I'll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that - no
I'll never tell

XANDER/ANYA:
'Cause there's nothing to tell

ANYA:
He snores

XANDER:
She wheezes

ANYA:
Say "housework" and he freezes

XANDER:
She eats these skeezy cheeses
That I can't describe

ANYA:
I talk - he breezes

XANDER:
She doesn't know what "please" is

ANYA:
His penis got diseases
From a Chumash tribe

XANDER/ANYA:
The vibe
Gets kind of scary

XANDER:
Like she thinks I'm ordinary

ANYA:
Like it's all just temporary

XANDER:
Like her toes are kind of hairy

XANDER/ANYA:
But it's all very well
'Cause God knows I'll never tell

ANYA:
When things get rought he
Just hides behind his buffy
Now look - he's getting huffy
'Cause he knows that I know

XANDER:
She clings - she's needy
She's also really greedy
She never --

ANYA:
--His eyes are beady!

XANDER:
This is my verse, hello
She --

ANYA:
Look at me! I'm dancin' crazy!

XANDER/ANYA:
You know

XANDER:
You're quite the charmer

ANYA:
My knight in armor

XANDER:
You're the cutest of the scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm yet supple - tight embrace...

ANYA:
He's swell

XANDER:
She's sweller

ANYA:
He'll always be my feller

XANDER:
That's why I'll never tell her
That I'm petrified

ANYA:
I've read this tale
There's wedding then betrayal
I know that come the day I'll
Want to run and hide

XANDER/ANYA:
I lied
I said it's easy
I've tried
But ther's these fears I can't quell

XANDER:
Is she looking for a pot of gold

ANYA:
Will I look good when I've gotten old

XANDER:
Will our lives become too stressful
If I'm never that successful

ANYA:
When I get so worn and wrinkly
That I look like David Brinkley

XANDER:
Am I crazy

ANYA:
Am I dreamin'

XANDER:
Am I marrying a demon

XANDER/ANYA:
We could really raise the beam in
Making marriage a hell
So thank God I'll never tell
I swear that I'll never tell

XANDER:
My lips are sealed

ANYA:
I take the fifth

XANDER:
Nothing to see
Movie it along

XANDER/ANYA:
I'll never tell

 

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